By Centerfold Editor, Innesa Ranchpar

            I used to think that doing something extraordinary like skydiving and going on a hot air balloon ride was on my list of “things to do before I die.” But those are simply extravagant dreams, not self-fulfilling moments. A friendly smile, a simple conversation, a good deed… It is, in fact, the little things in life that matter most. 
            Recently, doctors have informed me that I do not have much longer to live.
            Are you scared? To death.
As I look back now, there is one particular night I will never forget.
            My friend and I were hungry and decided to get some food. After about a 20-minute drive and a 30-minute wait, we finally got our take-out. As we were walking back to the car, I found myself swimming in a sea of guilt.
            We noticed a homeless man nearby digging through a trash can for food. Starvation suddenly meant so much more to me than one skipped meal. This man was hungry, so I gave him my food.
            I have heard that you have not lived a perfect day unless you have done something for someone who cannot repay you.
            I have not bothered rewarding myself yet because I have so much left to make up for.
            Upon receiving this unthinkable news, memories flooded my mind. From that moment, I knew my life would be different. And among the things I noticed first was the transformation of attitude in others toward me, simply because every moment they spent with me would be their last.
            Now, my parents are more passive over my faults, my extended family demands to spend an unusual amount of time with me, my best friend avoids starting any arguments, and those few whose friendships I’ve lost due to my insensitivity and selfishness now yearn to mend our broken friendship with forgiveness.
            However, the change developed within me has been particularly exceptional. While everyone else looks and treats me differently, the unexpected news altered my attitude towards life.
            Since the moment I heard the dreadful news, I have made sure my every day since has been a perfect day. I am running out of time and do not want to waste a minute of it.
            What are you going to do? Everything I should have already been doing.
            Like helping my mother. I should have done it more. Taking the initiative to make her proud comes with self-responsibility and a healthier mother/daughter relationship. I don’t know why I didn’t realize that before.
            I should have been more tolerant and understanding. I tend to be defensive. Who wants to be remembered that way?
            I should have had more hobbies. Spending every free moment on the Internet or “out” only wasted my time. I should have traveled more, seen more people. I should have learned sign language. I should have volunteered at the hospital, or maybe even gotten a job at a bookstore.
            I should have smiled more at strangers or helped old ladies cross the street.
            I could still do all that. But I should have done it sooner…
            If you feel sorry for me… don’t. No one ever got anywhere feeling sorry for someone else. And I’m not going anywhere.
To tell you the truth, I am not really dying. But sometimes, you need to lie in order to tell the truth.